Title: Solace 
Author: DanaK35
eMail: DanaK35@yahoo.com
URL: http://danak35.tripod.com/
Archiving: Sure, as long as my name stays on it
Rating: R
Classification: S, R
Spoilers: minor ones up to Season 6
Keywords: MSR, SSR (solely references to past 
relationship)
Summary: Mulder comes back to find life changed 
and Scully has trouble letting go.

Disclaimer: 'The X-Files' and all 'The X-Files' 
related characters and situations are the 
intellectual property of Chris Carter, 1013 
Productions and the FOX network. The following 
material is not intended to infringe on the above 
copyright in any way. Which means, they aren't 
mine, yak yak yak...you know the drill!

Author's notes at the end.



SOLACE
by DanaK35

~~~ Spend all your time waiting for that second 
chance for a break that would make it okay - 
there's always one reason to feel not good 
enough and it's hard at the end of the day – I 
need some distraction oh beautiful release - 
memory seeps from my veins - let me be empty 
and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace 
tonight ... Sarah McLachlan, Angel, Surfacing 
1998~~~


***Sometimes I wake up at night, not realizing 
where I am until I hear the wind outside and the 
sound of the waves crashing ashore. I look 
around my room, the fire slowly dying, the light 
reflecting softly in the mirror of the vanity, the 
white light of the moon outside penetrates the 
silk curtains and casts shadows on my bare arms, 
giving my skin the appearance of pale silver. I 
glance in the dark corners of the room and it is as 
if he's waiting there for me. His dark eyes seem 
to glow, his skin shimmers in the moonlight. 
When I close my eyes again, I can see him 
smiling at me, laughing, just the way he did on 
that long ago day down in the tropical paradise of 
Key West. We had laughed like children, racing 
rented scooters along the shore, wearing nothing 
but shorts and shirts. I had truly that the 
emptiness; the loneliness and the madness that 
had enveloped my life for so long had come to an 
end. He was my friend, my lover, my hope and my 
solace. But like so many I loved, he left me...no, 
he was taken from me, taken by the same forces 
that took another from me. I am alone now, but I 
am not lonely. Nothing was left for me in my life, 
so I chose to begin a new life. Here I am now, far 
North, the only medical doctor in an area of 
almost 100 miles. I live a life of quiet solitude 
only interrupted by the daily routine of receiving 
and treating patients or driving to their homes in 
my brand new Explorer. The winters are long up 
here in Maine and sometimes the snow does not 
allow me to even complete my daily chores. I 
don't mind. The wind, the ocean, the fierce winter 
have become my solace...for I have fled my old 
life to forget the men I have loved.***


****************************


Washington, D.C.
Memorial Hospital
Late October

The tall, dark-haired man stepped outside and 
looked up at the leaden sky. It looked like snow. 

'Does it snow in D.C. in October?' the man asked 
himself?

He couldn't remember. He couldn't remember a lot 
of things. A cab stopped next to him and a couple 
got out. The man quickly seized the opportunity 
and slid on the backseat, giving the driver an 
address in Alexandria that sounded unfamiliar 
even to his own ears. The cabbie glanced at him 
suspiciously in the rearview mirror but started the 
car and turned into the stream of afternoon 
traffic. He watched his passenger nervously. The 
guy was obviously some kind of weirdo. He was 
wearing a dark business suit and overcoat, but 
his dark hair was ruffled, he hadn't shaved in at 
least a week and his hazel eyes looked haunted. 
The face, that might have been handsome once, 
was pale and drawn and he stared at the city 
uncomprehending.

"Hey Mister, you okay?" 

The man turned to stare at him. "Yeah, I am 
fine." 

The driver nodded and switched on the radio. He 
didn't feel like talking to this guy anymore. Fox 
Mulder stared out at the gray streets of 
Washington. He was going home. After two years 
and 4 months he was finally going home.

The cab stopped in front of a slightly shabby 
looking apartment building, and took no time in 
driving away after the passenger had paid the 
fare. Mulder stepped inside and rode the elevator 
to his floor, taking out a set of keys and looking 
at them suspiciously. The hallway looked dirty 
with the paint peeling from the walls and not a 
sound coming out of any of the apartments. 
Mulder stopped in front of No. 42 and looked at 
the keys again, finding the right one and inserting 
it into the lock. 

'How come I know which one my key is, but I 
don't know what happened to me?' 

Opening the door he looked at the darkened 
apartment. The glow of the empty fish-tank was 
the only illumination. he battered leather sofa 
and scratched desk seemed familiar and he 
wondered what had happened to the fish. He 
turned on all the lights and walked from room to 
room. The kitchen looked picked up and he 
opened the fridge. A carton of orange juice, two 
years over its best by date. A couple of beers, a 
bottle of white wine. A bottle of red on the 
counter, menus of take-out places on the door, 
stuck there with fridge-magnets. 'FBI' one said 
another one the almond eyed face of a green 
alien. Another one from Martha's vineyard. 

Mulder turned and stepped back into the living 
room. A computer sat on his desk, a post-it stuck 
on its screen. Mulder picked it up. The yellow 
paper was faded considerably. 'M.', the paper read 
'call me ASAP when you get in. Am worried! S.' He 
stared at the paper. Who was S. ? A woman? The 
neat script looked like a woman's handwriting. 
How long had the paper been there? Probably as 
long as he had been gone. They had told him at 
the hospital that he had vanished 2 years and 4 
months ago.

Two FBI Agents had come by and told him who he 
was, Fox Mulder, FBI Agent. They had also told 
him that he had been missing, though they hadn't 
had any more information. When he asked to 
speak to his old partner - wasn't every Agent 
supposed to have one of those - they had told 
him to come to the Hoover building as soon as he 
was feeling better. He had asked the doctors to 
speak to his family and they had informed him 
that nobody had been there to visit him. A few 
days later, the two Agents had been back 
informing him that he indeed had no family left. 
His mother had died a year ago. His father had 
passed away years ago; there were no siblings. 

Mulder walked into the bedroom and stopped in 
the doorway. A wooden four-poster bed 
dominated the room, a mirror attached to its 
ceiling, the covers and pillows sported a Leo 
print.

'I like THAT?' He wondered and then the memory 
came back, unbidden. 

He'd never had a bed, he'd always slept on the 
couch, but there had been this case in Nevada. 
Area 51. They had seen a UFO and he had 
switched bodies with some guy. He had been 
stuck in this guy Morris' life and Morris had 
enjoyed Mulder's. Morris Fletcher - yeah that had 
been his name - had put in the furniture. Strange 
that he remembered now, he hadn't remembered 
anything about Morris then. 

UFOs? That had been his interest one of the 
young Agents had told him, smirking. Spooky 
Mulder had been his name at the Bureau. 

Why? Mulder had wanted to know, but the Agents 
hadn't given him more info. Mulder went back to 
his desk, sitting down on the wobbly chair and 
opening the drawers. File folders, loose papers, 
photos and articles, obviously not arranged by 
any system lay jumbled within. 

Mulder picked up a folder and two pictures fell 
out. He picked them up. One of them showed a 
small girl, her black hair braided, smiling up into 
the camera. Mulder put it on the side, wondering 
who she was. A victim? A relation? 

The other picture showed himself and a 
redheaded woman at a table with several other 
people. He was dressed in a tux and the woman 
was wearing an evening gown. She held a glass 
of champagne and toasted another man, a 
muscular bald guy with sad eyes behind his 
fashionable glasses. Skinner. The guy was Walter 
Skinner, his AD, his superior officer. He studied 
the woman's face. She was smiling at Skinner and 
he himself was casting a weary look in her 
direction. She looked familiar, but he couldn't 
think of her name just now. He studied her face 
and his heart began pounding.


********************************





Northern Maine
Dana Scully's residence
31st October 5:15 p.m.

The knock on the door and the bark that followed 
interrupted Scully's reverie and she looked up. 

"Shh, Charles, it's OK", she quieted down the dog 
and
went to the door.

"Trick or treat, Dr. Scully", sounded the happy 
childrens' voices. They were dressed as witches, 
vampires and aliens and Scully happily passed out 
sweets to them. 

"You run along now, kids, and be careful!" She 
told them and the children waved at her.

"Thanks Dr. Scully, Happy Halloween!" 

She went back inside, Charles following at her 
heel. Scully sat down at her desk again, petting 
the dog behind his ears. She had gotten him a 
year ago as payment for a broken leg from Mr. 
Auer and the cream colored retriever had become 
her companion during cold winter nights and quiet 
summer evenings. The phone rang.

"Yes?" 

"Dana!" Rebecca Cochran's cheerful voice, "are 
you coming to the Halloween-party?" 

Scully sighed. "Ah, Becky, I don't know, I am kind 
of
tired..." 

"Nonsense, Dana, you HAVE to come..."

Rebecca Cochran had become her friend and she 
never seized to try to coax Scully into leaving her 
solitary life. 

"Everyone is gonna be there, even Thomas King, 
remember him, he loved you at my Christmas 
party last year, you two really should..."

Scully laughed.

"OK, Becky, I'll be there...." 

"Great, see you at eight...what are you going to 
wear?" 

"I don't know, really...Becky I have to go!"

Her friend let her go and Scully stared at the 
phone for a long time. She hadn't been at a 
Halloween party for years. The last one had been 
around 2 years ago at the office with Skinner. She 
had never expected him to go to a Halloween 
party but they had had so much fun. He had 
always been more relaxed when he was with her. 
Walter Skinner the hard-assed AD was a different 
man in her presence. Scully sighed and switched 
off her computer. It was time to get changed. 


****************************


FBI Headquarters, Washington D.C.
30th October, 9:30 am

Fox Mulder entered the Hoover building and 
nodded at the security guard, not really believing 
his badge would gain him entrance. But it did. 
Mulder went upstairs to the first floor and entered 
AD Skinner's office. A pretty blonde admin 
assistant was sitting behind the reception desk. 

"Can I help you?" she inquired, her gaze 
wandering up and down Mulder's body.

"Yes, I am Agent Fox Mulder to see AD Skinner." 

Her gaze became confused and she picked up the 
phone. 

"Agent Mulder to see you...OK... you can go right 
in, Agent Mulder...." 

He entered the office and was surprised to see 
not Skinner but an attractive woman in her late 
forties. 

"Agent Mulder," she said in a pleasant voice, "sit 
down! I am AD Corliss, Caroline Corliss!"

"Where is AD Skinner?" Mulder asked suspiciously. 

"Sit down Agent Mulder," she said gently. "AD 
Skinner is dead, Agent Mulder, he has been for 
over a year."

Mulder's face fell. 

"What? How? I mean what happened to him?" 

The pretty blonde assistant came in with coffee 
and Mulder took a hasty sip of the black brew. AD 
Corliss took her time to answer. When she did 
she looked directly in his eyes.

"We don't know, Agent Mulder, he died of an 
unknown disease. When Agent Scully found him 
he was already in a coma and he died shortly 
afterwards." 

"Agent Scully?"

"Yes, your partner, Agent Mulder."

So the pretty redhead must be his partner. 

"What happened, Ma'am?" He asked politely.

"After your disappearance, Agent Scully and AD 
Skinner did everything to locate you, Agent 
Mulder, but they failed. You might remember that 
you had been involved in the X-Files," at Mulder's 
questioning stare she continued, "Cases that 
solely dealt with the unexplained... UFO's, 
demons, you have it... Agent Scully had been your 
partner for over 6 years... she wanted to know 
what happened to you... AD Skinner had been 
your superior officer, but after his death the case 
was closed." Her face was solemn. 

"Where is Agent Scully?" 

"She has quit the FBI, I don't know her 
whereabouts, I am sorry, Agent Mulder...." 

"Why did she quit?" 

AD Corliss swallowed. 

"Ma'am, why did Agent Scully quit?" 

"Agent Scully and AD Skinner had been..." she 
was looking for the right words "...involved, when 
he died and your case was closed, she quit." 

Why did the thought of Scully and Skinner bother 
him so much?

"Are you sure?" 

AD Corliss gave him a questioning look. 

"Yes, I am sure, Agent Mulder and I am sorry, I 
know it is hard..."

"Where is she?" Mulder asked.

"I don't know, Agent Mulder, but..." she hesitated 
but took pity in his lost stare. "Her mother died, 
but you could try contacting her brother 
William...." 

She wrote down the number of Scully's brother 
and bid him good-bye.

Mulder left the office, numbed.


*******************************


Fox Mulder's apartment
Alexandria, Va.
30th October

Fox Mulder paced his apartment. He had gone 
through files and folders in his desk but except 
for a few pictures of his parents and sister and 
some more pictures obviously taken at various 
FBI events he had found nothing. One or two 
folders had been labeled X-Files and he had read 
the case reports with growing astonishment. If 
this had been his work, then no wonder he had 
been called Spooky. He had noticed the light of 
his answering machine blinking and pressed the 
button to listen to his messages. Insurance sales 
people. A 1-900-Service. More people who wanted 
to sell something. And then.

'Mulder? It's me, if you have gone off ditching me 
again, it has gone far enough. Please call me on 
my cellphone, we are getting quite worried here. 
Call me!" 

Scully's voice. It had to be. Filled with concern. 
Had it been his custom to go off without her? He 
picked up the sheet of paper AD Corliss had given 
him and stared at it thoughtfully. Skinner dead. 
Scully had left the FBI. Scully and Skinner 
involved... whatever that meant. Bill Scully jr., 
her brother, Mulder didn't have a good feeling 
about this man. He didn't know why but he had 
the impression that Bill Scully had never been his 
friend. Still, he had to talk to him. It was his only 
possibility if he wanted his life back.


Bill Scully's residence
Annapolis, Maryland
30th October

A pleasant blonde woman opened the door, when 
Mulder rang the bell of William Scully's home.

"Oh my God, Fox Mulder, what a great surprise, 
come in!" She said happily and opened the front 
door all the way. 

'Tara' That was her name. A little boy, about 3 
years old was hiding behind her legs. Somewhere 
in the back he could hear a baby wailing. 

"I would like to speak to Bill." Mulder said. 

Tara nodded and led him through the dining room 
to a family room, where Scully's brother was 
playing with an infant. 

"Bill," Tara said cheerfully, "it is Fox Mulder!" 

Bill Scully turned around. His gaze was cold. 

"Mulder!" He said. "I never thought I'd see you 
again..." 

The other man's gaze held only contempt and 
Mulder was confused. Why did this man hate him 
so much? 

"I am looking for Dana!" Mulder stated. 

Bill got up, placing the baby gently on the couch.

"Leave her alone, Mulder, she has suffered 
enough!" He said coldly. 

Mulder recoiled. "Listen, William, your sister is 
the only 
person who can help me...." 

Bill's stare was cold. "I don't care, Mulder, I said 
she has suffered enough..." 

Mulder cast a glance in the other man's direction. 
"Bill, I NEED to find her... I don't know who I am 
anymore... I have lost almost two years...." 

Bill shook his head. "No, Mulder, I will not tell 
you where she is, you have brought enough grief 
to her life..."

Mulder cast down his eyes. What had he done to 
Scully? 
Bill Scully jr. looked at the other man in 
contempt. He had always caused Dana nothing 
but grief.

"I will not tell you, where she is, Mulder, she has 
deserved a break." He repeated coldly and left 
the room. 

Mulder got up and turned to leave. It was 
hopeless. Scully's brother obviously hated him, he 
wouldn't learn anything from that man. At the 
door, Tara Scully was back at his side. 

"She is in Maine, Fox," she said and recited an 
address, "don't let Bill know I told you..." 

"Thank you!" Mulder gave her a brief hug, before 
he left.


*************************************


Dana Scully's residence
Northern Maine
31st October, 8:15 pm

Dana Scully looked at herself critically in the 
bathroom mirror. She was wearing a midnight 
blue gown, in authentic Louis 14th style. Her hair 
was hidden beneath an enormous white wig and 
the corner of her mouth spotted her beauty spot, 
enhanced with black. Rebecca had promised an 
entertaining evening and had hinted that Thomas 
King was just dying to dance with her. Scully was 
amazed that Rebecca never seized to try to 
match her up with some guy or the other. She 
knew every single person and had spent 
numerous evenings. The image of herself in the 
arms of a handsome stranger crossed her mind. It 
wouldn't happen, this was Maine, after all.


**********************************

Alexandria, Va.
Mulder's apartment
31st October, 8:30 am

Mulder gave his apartment one last glance and 
turned to the door. He was booked on a flight to 
Bangor, Maine on the morning flight. From there 
he would take a car to drive to Blue Harbor, 
wherever that was. 

'What the hell is she doing in a god-forsaken 
place like that?' He wondered.

In his hallway he had a sudden flashback. Him 
and Scully. She had been running away from him. 
He had stopped her, pleaded with her not to 
leave him. He had placed his hands on her 
shoulders and she had looked up to him, tears 
filling her eyes. He had wanted to kiss her then 
but something had happened. Mulder shook his 
head. He didn't remember.


**********************************


Blue Harbor, Northern Maine
The Olde Towne Inn
31st October, 08:30 pm

Exhausted, Mulder put down his bags and looked 
around the room. After what had seemed like 
days he had finally reached his destination, the 
small town of Blue Harbor and checked into the 
only hotel. He searched his pockets for the 
address; Tara had given him and decided to ask 
the hotel clerk for directions to Scully's place.
After he had taken a shower Mulder went 
downstairs again, in search of the person who 
had checked him in. He looked around the empty 
hall, when a voice behind him asked. 

"C'n I help you?"

He spun around to look at the face of an old 
woman.

"Ah, yeah, I was wondering whether you could tell 
me how to get to this address." 

He handed the woman the piece of paper. She put 
on reading glasses and glanced at the paper then 
back at him.

"Dr. Scully?" Mulder nodded. 

"Y're a friend of hers, are you?" 

He nodded again. 

"Don't get too many strangers here..." 

"Listen, Ma'am, I need to see Scully, Dr. Scully 
urgently, so could you please tell me how to get 
there?" 

She glanced at him suspiciously. 

" 'Tis not very far, just drive down Main street and 
turn right. Lives right on the bay, does Dr. Scully." 

"Thank you!" He said and turned to leave.

"Won't find her though tonight..." 

He closed his eyes briefly in exasperation. 

"Why not?" 

"All folks are at the Halloween party, down at 
Harbor House...'tis down at the harbor..." 

She turned and shuffled to the back of the house 
and Mulder stepped out into the icy night.

***************************

The Harbor House
Blue Harbor, Me.
31st October, 01:30 am

The party was in full swing. People in colorful 
costumes crowded the bar and the dance floor. 
Dana Scully watched Rebecca do a wild twist with 
her husband, Jack and had to laugh. 

"Dana?" 

She turned around to find Thomas King smiling 
down at her. He was dressed in a black pirate's 
costume, one eye covered by a black patch, his 
dark, wavy hair hidden under a red bandana and a 
huge hat. 

"Thomas, hi!" 

He offered his hand. "Care to dance?"

"Sure, thanks!" She said after a moment's 
hesitation and let him lead her to the dance floor. 
The music had slowed down and couples were 
swaying slowly. Thomas was a good dancer, 
guiding her expertly to the music.

"I missed you at the bonfire, Dana." He said.

"I didn't feel like celebrating, Thomas, I am 
sorry." 

The bonfire had been held on the anniversary of 
Skinner's death and she had sat at home, staring 
at is picture, wondering why.

"What's you secret Dr. Scully?" Thomas asked in a 
playful tone. He had sensed her retreat. A smile 
grazed her lips. 

"Oh, I don't have that many secrets, Thomas," 
she lied. "I just like to keep to myself..."

"So there is no other man waiting for you?" 

She snorted a laugh. "No, there isn't, there hasn't 
been...." 

She looked over his shoulder and saw him 
standing in the doorway. 

"Oh my god!" She whispered and Thomas turned 
around to find out what she was staring at. 

It was a dark-haired guy who leaned in the 
doorway, searching the crowd, dressed in jeans 
and a leather jacket. 

"What is it, Dana?" 

She was pale and her breath came in short gasps.

"I think I have seen a true ghost..."


Fox Mulder scanned the crowd of merry Halloween 
guests. Some people were wearing masks and he 
cursed silently. He would have to go back to the 
hotel and try to meet her at her house tomorrow. 
He turned to leave when his gaze fell upon a 
woman in a Louis 14th costume, holding on to a 
tall pirate. She glanced in his direction and turned 
even paler than her make-up. Scully? It had to 
be. Her red hair was hidden under a white wig, 
but he recognized her nevertheless. The petite 
figure, the blazing blue eyes, the little spot on 
her upper lip, the way she carried herself... It had 
to be her and Mulder's heart started to beat 
rapidly. This was the woman he remembered, the 
woman who would help him remember. She was 
beautiful, he hadn't known she would be so 
beautiful. An image flashed through his mind of 
her in his arms, dancing, throwing her head back 
and laughing just as she did now at something 
the man at her side said. Who was he? She 
turned and stared directly at him. Her eyes 
widened in shock and Mulder turned to flee. He 
couldn't do this to her. The look on her face when 
she saw him... He would have to find another 
way.


******************



Dana Scully's residence
1st November, 2 am

"Are you sure you are OK, Dana?" 

Rebecca Cochran tucked Scully's hair behind her 
ear. 

"Yeah, I am..." 

Thomas King shifted uncomfortably. "I think I'd 
better go..." 

Scully nodded and Becky led him to the door. 
When she came back she sat down next to her 
still trembling friend. Scully was still in her 
costume, clutching a cup of tea.

"What exactly happened back there, Dana?" 

"I saw him, I saw Mulder... but it can't be... it 
can't." 

Rebecca was confused as to who Mulder was. So 
far, Scully had always spoken about Walter. 

"... he was my partner..." Dana continued as if in 
a trance, "...at the FBI, we were partners... for six 
years ... I followed his crusade, I would have 
followed him anywhere... he was so... brilliant... 
and god I loved him, Becky, I loved him so much 
it hurt... it physically hurt... but I lost him, too." 
Tears were beginning to stream down her cheeks 
and Rebecca fought the urge to comfort her. 
Instead she let her ramble. "I lost so many 
people I loved... my Dad, Missy, Emily... Mulder 
and Skinner... I lost my future... did  I ever tell 
you that I will never be able to have children?" 
She looked up suddenly and her eyes had a 
vacant stare. "They took that away from me, you 
know, experimented on me, gave me a deadly 
cancer. He saved me, but he never wanted me 
and I never told him... I could have been the one 
to tell him... and then he was gone, vanished... I 
have seen him tonight, Rebecca, I am sure of it... 
it was Mulder!" 

Gently, Rebecca coaxed the whole story about Fox 
Mulder out of her friend. 

"But, Dana, what if it was him?" 

She asked when Scully had ended. 

"It can't be him, Becky, it can't be real." 

When Rebecca Cochran left, Dana Scully was lost 
in memories.

*** People leave footsteps on your soul. Some of 
them leave only superficial ones, like if you were 
walking on a beach furthest away from the water. 
Others... others they mark you forever. Fox 
Mulder has been one of them. From the first day I 
met him, he was in my mind. The intelligence of 
his mind, the fire in his eyes, all that fascinated 
me from the moment I stepped into his basement 
office, him welcoming me with the words: 
"Nobody down here but the FBI's most 
unwanted..." I still remember the way he looked 
at me. A mixture of astonishment and sarcasm. 
He knew from the beginning that I had been sent 
to spy on him. But he trusted me. I think I have 
been the only one he trusted in these days. Oh, 
sure I found out more about him that I wanted 
to. Phoebe Green. The brilliant, sadistic English-
woman. And Diana, his old love, come back to 
haunt him. I still wonder if she had anything to 
do with his disappearance. Mulder. Mulder. He 
was so intense. In his presence I wanted to be 
another woman. I wanted to be daring and 
irrational. But I never did. Maybe I should have. 
But Mulder has never been easy. His love. I know 
now that I should have earned his love. Walter 
Skinner was different. He loved me 
unconditionally. And after all the tears, after all 
the blows that fate had dealt me, I was ready for 
somebody to sweep me of my feet. To hold me, 
to protect me. Somebody who didn't mind if I 
wasn't strong. Walter Skinner taught me feel. 

Mulder... Mulder has taught me to laugh.***


*****************************************
**********************


Fox Mulder's apartment
Alexandria, Va.
15th December

Fox Mulder hung up his coat and plopped down on 
the couch. Another week. Over. Thank god. Work 
at the FBI was always demanding. He still didn't 
remember everything. They had put him into 
VICAP. The Behavioral Science Unit. He was good 
at it. He enjoyed it. But the occasional flashes of 
memory still haunted him. He tried regression 
therapy. He tried hypnosis. Nothing would work. 
He stared at the picture of him and Dana Scully. 
She was the key. She was the key to his past and 
maybe to his future.


**********************************


Dana Scully's practice
Blue Harbor, ME.
December 20th; 8:30 p.m.

Scully still sat in her office in the old stable that 
now housed her practice when the phone rang. 
'No!' she thought. 

"Dr. Scully speaking?" 

"Doctor, you'd better come to the Old River Road 
right now, there's been an accident..."

She grabbed her long leather jacket and her bag 
and raced to her car. Her first thought when she 
reached the site was 'How can ANYBODY be out 
in this weather in a car like that?'
The car had flipped over and hit a tree. It was a 
new Ford Taurus, a rental car from the look of it. 
Police and fire department were already there.

"Hey Doc," Chief Halloran greeted her. "Have a 
look at the guy, will ya?" 

She nodded and made her way to the wreck. The 
driver was caught behind the wheel and the 
firemen where only waiting for her signal to cut 
him out of there. She slipped on gloves before 
she touched the patient and froze. It was Fox 
Mulder. It couldn't be. 

"Are you alright, Doc?" 

She looked at the Sheriff, momentarily confused. 
Then her training kicked in and she nodded, 
bending over the injured Mulder, examining him 
briefly. 

"I think you can move him, his spine seems to be 
OK." 

The firemen began their work and moments later, 
Mulder was laying on a stretcher. He had a cut on 
his forehead, a black eye and multiple bruises on 
his arms and chest. Two ribs seemed to be 
broken and he didn't react. 

"Do you want us to get an ambulance, Doc?" The 
fire chief asked. 

Scully shook her head. 

"No, I don't want him taken hospital in this 
weather. I need him to be taken to my house. I 
can treat him there." 

The other man gave her a questioning look but 
complied, loading Mulder onto the truck.

****************

The first thing Fox Mulder saw, was Dana Scully's 
face. He seemed to be dreaming, but when he 
reached out to touch her she spoke. 

"Mulder? It's me!" 

The words were familiar, he had heard them a 
thousand times. 

"Scully?" The face came closer.

"You're save, Mulder, you have had an accident, 
but you are safe now!" 

"Where am I?"

"You are at my home, Mulder, in Blue Harbor!"

He closed his eyes. Scully was there. He was 
safe.


**********************************


Dana Scully's residence
Blue Harbor, ME
December 21st; 2:30 p.m.

Mulder woke up alone and looked around, 
wondering where he was. Scully's home. He 
remembered. The accident. He had come to see 
her, wanting to find his past. The rental car 
without snow chains. He had lost control. He got 
up, dizzy and grabbed his jeans and a sweater 
from the closet, moaning at the pain in his chest. 
Broken ribs, he thought looking around. His room 
was furnished simply with dark wood dresser, 
built-in closet and a dark wood sleigh bed with a 
blue and white quilt. A comfortable chair sat in 
one corner. The windows decorated with simple 
blue and white curtains. There were flowers on 
the dresser and a few books on the bedside 
table. He opened the door to the bathroom. 
Forest green towels matched the green shower 
curtain. The room overlooked the front yard of the 
house and he could see an elderly couple entering 
a building that looked like a barn. Scully's office. 
He stepped outside in the hallway and opened 
the door to her bedroom. He knew he was 
snooping but he didn't care. He wanted to know 
more about the woman he had known for over 6 
years but yet seemed so strange to him. Her 
bedroom looked familiar. The simple wooden bed 
and vanity. A dresser, built-in closet as well. 
Candle holders in the corners and on the dresser. 
A fireplace. Nice. Her simple white terry-cloth 
robe lay on the bed, another opened book on the 
bedside table. 

He noticed the framed photographs in the mantle 
of the fireplace and took a step towards them. 
Her parents, her brother Bill and his family, 
another man with a pretty Asian woman and two 
children, a redheaded woman with long curly hair. 
Her sister? Yes, Melissa, who had been shot 
during a case. 

The photo of himself sitting next to Scully at 
some FBI party, the one he had found in his desk.

Another picture caught his attention. Scully and 
Skinner both dressed in jeans and shirts on a 
beach. They smiled at each other and Mulder's 
heart skipped a beat. They looked happy. In love. 
It hurt him more than he could understand. OK, 
there was the memory of him almost kissing her, 
but had they ever been more than partners and 
friends? Wouldn't he remember? 

He put the picture back and turned to leave the 
room when he noticed another picture of Skinner 
on one of the bedside tables. The older man 
smiled into the camera, wearing jeans and a long 
leather jacket. He looked relaxed and Mulder 
wondered where the photo had been taken. In his 
memory Skinner hardly ever smiled, he'd been the 
hard-assed superior who had dressed him down 
numerous times for not following orders and FBI 
procedure. Mulder set the frame gently back in its 
place and went downstairs, to prepare some 
coffee. Even downstairs her personality shone 
through every little thing, Mulder thought, 
wondering where it had came from. 

In the kitchen, cookbooks were arranged neatly 
on shelves, different boxes of tea, spices and 
herbs sat on other shelves and on the counter. 
The dining area held the round table that had sat 
in her kitchen before. In the living room he 
recognized her blue and white striped couch and 
other furniture from her place in Annapolis. Yes, 
that's were Scully had lived. Before. A Christmas 
tree stood in a corner, decorated in silver and 
blue. Another room held a desk with a computer 
and the walls were lined with bookshelves 
containing everything from novels to medical 
volumes. 

At the end of the hallway was a sunroom 
overlooking the bay. It was full of potted plants 
and in a corner sat a wicker table, sofa and chair. 
A book lay upside down on the table, a tea mug 
next to it. Mulder turned back and Charles, the 
retriever looked up from his place by the fire, 
when he crossed the living room to the kitchen. 
After some rooting he found coffee and filters in 
one of  the cupboards. He heard the front door 
opening and a woman's voice: 

"Dana?"

Charles' happy bark followed.

"Dana? It's Rebecca... I ... oh hello!" 

Mulder turned to a woman standing in the 
doorway to the kitchen. She looked to be in her 
late thirties and her skin had the healthy glow of 
someone who spent most of her time outdoors. 
Her blond hair was cut short and she wore jeans, 
a workman's shirt and heavy boots.

"And you must be the mystery man everybody is 
talking about." She said and extended her hand.

"Fox Mulder!" 

"Fox? Boy must you parents have hated you... 
sorry, I am Rebecca Cochran." 

"Mulder is fine, you are looking for Scully .... 
Dana? I think she is still in her office...would you 
like some coffee?" 

Rebecca sat down at the counter and watched the 
handsome stranger pour coffee into two mugs. 

"So I see you have recovered...at least some?" 

He handed her the coffee. His hands were 
shaking. 

"I guess..." 

"That's good!" 

Mulder raised one eyebrow. 

"Well, I still don't know where you came from. Did 
you know her late husband?" 

Mulder almost choked on the coffee and coughed. 

"Husband?" 

"Yeah, Walter!"

"Skinner?" This was getting weirder by the 
minute. 

"Yes, Walter Skinner, you do know him!" 

Mulder cleared his throat. "Yes, I just... never 
mind, listen, don't mind me I am suffering from 
amnesia... Scully... Dana is the only one left who 
can fill the blanks. I came to see her. The 
accident..."

Becky gave him another suspicious look. 
"Amnesia? Well, I can tell you one thing, Mulder 
Amnesia or not, Dana is one of the finest people 
I have ever met and she has been through a lot, 
losing a sister, her best friend, her husband... oh, 
now I understand, you are THE friend, aren't 
you?" 

Friend? Was that what he had been to her? He 
shrugged. "I guess, I don't remember what 
happened, in fact most of what happened to me 
before I vanished is gone as well, I remember 
only a few things, impressions, feelings..." 

"Well, I really do feel for you, Mulder, it must be 
hard, but don't make it harder for Dana than it 
already is, she had come here to forget." With 
that she got up, placing the cup in the sink. "I 
better go see her at the office then, nice meeting 
you!" 

"Pleasure was all mine." He replied sarcastically. 
Why did everybody think they had to protect 
Scully? In his memory she had always been 
strong? Or was it just a trick of his mind.

He was pouring himself another cup of coffee, 
when he heard the front door open again. This 
time it was Scully and he heard her speaking to 
her dog, before she entered the kitchen.
"Hey Mulder, I see you are up!" 

He looked at her as if she had just stepped off a 
space craft. She was wearing a long wool-skirt 
and matching button down sweater. Her hair was 
cut shorter than in the pictures he had seen and 
curled softly around her face. 

"Scully... I... I don't know what to say... you must 
help me...." 

She sighed. Ever since she had found him she had 
dreaded this. Mulder. Needing her help. Again. 
She decided to change the subject. Buy a little 
time. 

"You look like shit, Mulder, how are you feeling" 
She asked in a tone that sounded familiar. 

Dr. Scully. He shrugged. "You should be in bed, 
Mulder, you have multiple broken ribs and a few 
concussions, also I think you have hit your 
head..." 

"Scully!" His tone was pleading. "I need your help, 
please,... I don't remember..." 

Her hands fell to her side. "OK, Mulder, I'll make 
you a deal: you will lay down for a little while 
longer while I go and get some groceries. We will 
talk over dinner." 

He nodded and got up, wincing at the pain that 
shot through him. She took a step towards him 
but he waved her off. 

"I am fine, Scully!" Her eyes followed him as he 
carefully made his way out of the kitchen.


Everybody in the small town seemed to have 
heard about Mulder and Scully began to feel 
uncomfortable as person after person inquired 
about who he was and what his relation to Dr. 
Scully was. She answered in the same fashion 
every time. "He is a friend from Washington, and 
how are you today, Mr. Auer, Mr. Stern, Mrs. 
Johnson...." But she was glad when she was back 
in her car on her way home.

"Mulder, I am back!" She yelled and heard him 
coming down the stairs a few moments later.

He still looked pale and she made him sit in the 
window seat of the kitchen while she prepared 
lasagna and a simple green salad.

"Scully..." 

She turned to him. "Listen, could you re-kindle 
the fire while I take a quick shower? We'll talk at 
dinner, I promise!" 

With that she left the kitchen and he heard her 
going up the stairs, Charles at her heels. Minutes 
later he heard the shower running. He put some 
more wood on the dying flames and lit everything 
with a long match. It was already dark outside 
and so her drew the blinds and settled himself on 
the couch. 

"It's nice, isn't it?" Scully's voice shook him out of 
his reverie.

He turned to see her in the open doorway. She 
was dressed in leggings and an oversized work-
man's shirt that could only have to come from 
Skinner. Her hair was still damp and her face 
scrubbed clean of make up.

"The fire... I love to sit here and just stare at the 
flames." She continued motioning him to follow 
her into the kitchen, where she took the lasagna 
out of the oven, placing it on the table and 
motioning for him to sit.

While they ate he asked her noncommittal 
questions about her day. It was only when they 
had finished dinner and were back in front of the 
fire did he dared to ask. 

"Scully, can you tell me what happened? I don't 
remember anything... not from the time I 
vanished nor before...I am lost, you were the only 
one I could turn to..." 

She looked at him and a sad expression clouded 
her eyes. She sighed, but nodded. 

"We were working on this case... there was a 
woman out in Nevada who claimed to have been 
abducted by aliens... we had had cases like that 
by the dozen but this woman also claimed to 
have seen you sister..." 

"My sister?" 

"Samantha... you believe she was abducted by 
aliens when you were only twelve, Mulder, you 
have been looking for her all your adult life..." 

He nodded, confused by the information she had 
just given him. Why didn't he remember things 
like that? 

"Anyway," Scully continued. "We had gone to 
Nevada to speak to that woman, you were 
absolutely sure she was telling the truth, 
especially after she gave you a piece of the game 
you had been playing the night your sister 
vanished. You were sure nobody but Samantha or 
maybe myself could have had that information. 
But Skinner called us back to D.C. He had 
problems explaining our trip to the higher 
authorities. You were furious, we had a huge 
fight, because I agreed with Skinner and you 
thought I was..." 

A shadow crossed her face and she hesitated. 
"Never mind that now... you didn't agree but we 
went back to D.C. you were so pissed at me and I 
was exasperated by you... we didn't part as 
friends, I have to say. The next day you didn't 
show up for work and you didn't show the day 
after either. I thought you had ditched me again 
but usually you would at least leave me a 
message so I got worried and called your 
cellphone and your home. I even went there to 
see if something had happened to you, but you 
were gone, not a trace left of you. I called the 
woman in Nevada but you hadn't come back there 
either. After another day, I went to the police to 
report you as missing person. The police wasn't 
very helpful and so Skinner and I conducted our 
search for you in our own time...." Her voice 
faltered. "You were gone, Mulder, vanished 
without a trace." She took a hasty sip of her 
wine, her hands were shaking. 

'What about you and Skinner?' He wanted to ask, 
but he couldn't bring himself to do it. She seemed 
too shaken by the memory. 

"What about the 6 years we worked together?" 

She looked at him tiredly for a moment then got 
up. "Come on..." 

He followed her to her office where she switched 
on the computer and pulled out a box with CD-
ROMs. 

"Here, these are all the cases we ever worked on. 
My reports. Copies of the official case files. It's 
all on the CD's, Mulder." 

He sat down and looked at the neatly labeled 
disks. 

"I'll leave you alone, Mulder, I need to go to 
bed..." 

He took her hands in his. "Thanks, Scully!" 

She looked down at their entwined hands then 
turned to leave. "Good night, Mulder!" 

When she turned back to him at the door he was 
already engrossed in the files.

Hours later, Mulder switched off the computer. He 
had gone through two years worth of case files 
and his head was spinning. 

The search for his sister, his early relationship to 
Scully, Deep Throat all came back to him now. 

He had trusted her from the beginning. Why did 
she seem like a stranger to him now? He 
switched off the lights and went upstairs, 
stopping at Scully's door briefly. Not a sound, she 
must be asleep. He fought the urge to open her 
door to watch her sleep. 

He still didn't know what she had been to him, 
but he knew that he had trusted her from the 
beginning. He undressed and slipped under the 
cool sheets. Outside, he heard the waves 
crashing to shore. 

He stared at the ceiling watching the patters the 
moonlight drew when he heard it. A faint sound 
coming from Scully's room. He got up again and 
walked quietly back to her room. 

There it was again. She was crying. 

He stared at the closed door and his heart 
pounded at the sound. He opened the door just 
an inch and saw her lying there, crying in her 
sleep. Her sobs were deep and hopeless and 
Mulder fought the urge to take her in his arms 
and comfort her. He took one more step into the 
room but stopped. He had no right to even be 
here. Whatever he had been to her, she had been 
married to Walter Skinner. That meant that he 
obviously hadn't been enough to her. A friend, her 
best friend, but never more. 

"Scully." He whispered and retreated slowly, 
closing the door behind him.

*****************************************
***********************

Dana Scully's residence
December 23rd, 7:30 p.m.

The next days were dominated mostly by Scully's 
routine, while Mulder was getting back his 
strength. 

She would get up early in the morning to see her 
patients at their homes, leaving coffee brewing 
for Mulder. For lunch she would come back to the 
house briefly for a bite to eat, checking on him 
and telling him about her day. In the evenings 
she would cook dinner and she would make him 
help. They would sit in front of the fire and talk 
about everything and nothing. Sometimes he 
would tell her about something he remembered 
from reading her files, but she always the 
subject. 

She usually went to bed long before he did and 
he would go back to her office and go through her 
files again. Almost every night he would hear her 
cry in her sleep and he went back to her room 
twice, watching her and fighting with himself 
whether he should comfort her or not. Once she 
was whispering Skinner's name and he recoiled. 
He would go back to his room, feeling hollow 
inside.


It had started snowing in the afternoon and by 
the time Scully and Mulder finished their dinner, 
the world outside was covered in white. 

"Looks like you are not going to get back to 
Bangor after all, Mulder." Scully said as she let 
Charles outside for his nighttime business. She 
had one eyebrow raised and he thought he saw 
sarcasm in her eyes. 

"Scully I am sorry, I should have left..." 

She came back inside with the dog on her heels 
and touched his shoulder briefly. 

"It's OK, Mulder, I am kind of getting used to 
you." She said in a mocking tone. "Besides, you're 
still in no condition to drive all the way to Bangor 
and I am not going to take you!" 

"Do you ever get lonely up here, Scully," he asked 
as he followed her into the living room. 

"Yes." She answered simply. "Then why do you 
stay?" 

"Because I wanted to be alone! I wanted to find 
myself out here, I needed to get away from 
Washington, there were to many memories..." Her 
voice trailed off and he could see the pain in her 
eyes. 

"But to be out here by yourself all the time..." 

She looked up at him, taking a sip from her beer. 
"When I first came here, I used to go out on the 
cliffs and stare at the ocean for hours, when it 
rained I sat in the sunroom and stared out at the 
ocean. And once, when I stood above the water, 
the waves crashing against the rocks below I 
imagined what it would be like to just let go... to 
just let myself fall into the waves. End it all, the 
loneliness, the pain, the emptiness...." 

He swallowed hard. "Why didn't you?" He asked 
quietly, his voice hoarse. 

"Because I couldn't, something held me back. I 
might flee Washington but not life. Life is too 
precious. I almost lost my life to the cancer, I 
wouldn't throw it away like that!" 

He knew what she was talking about; he had read 
about it only this morning in her files. The cancer 
that had been given to her. How had she 
survived? Tears glistened in her blue eyes and 
Mulder reached out and touched her cheek lightly. 

"I am sorry, Scully!" 

She leaned into his hand and he wiped away the 
tears from the corners of her eyes. She looked up 
at him and thought she would have to drown in 
his gaze. A familiar feeling crept up her back. She 
had looked at him like that before, lost in his 
eyes. God, she had loved Fox Mulder for so many 
years and the old feelings were slowly coming 
back to her. She moved back and broke their 
touch. 

"I am cold, Mulder, I will go upstairs and take a 
hot bath!" She said and got up. 

He wanted to tell her to stay, to talk to him, but 
he let her go, getting up himself and going back 
to the computer.


9:30 p.m.

His eyes were burning and he switched off the 
computer and went upstairs. He could hear music 
from the slightly open door of Scully's room and 
couldn't resist stepping inside. She must still be 
in the bath, he thought when he found the room 
empty. 

The door to the bathroom stood open and he 
could see candles burning, casting a warm light 
into the room. He stepped closer and in the mirror 
of the bathroom he could see Scully. Her eyes 
were closed and she was surrounded by bubbly 
water. The vanilla scent of her bath oil seemed to 
envelop him. 

Her hair was put up on top of her head but a few 
strands were curling around her face. The water 
reached up to her chest but he could make out 
the curve of her breast just beneath the bubbles. 


Her eyes opened and he took a step back into the 
shadows of the bedroom not being able to take 
his eyes off her as she got up. 

The water pearled down her naked body and in 
the light of the candles her skin shimmered like 
alabaster. Her breasts were firm and full, her 
stomach flat and her legs shapely. She stepped 
gracefully out of the tub and picked up a white 
towel, wrapping it around her body as she stood 
in front of the mirror. She unpinned her hair and 
ran a hand through it. 

Mulder's world seemed to stop and then move in 
slow motion as she dried herself and picked up a 
bottle of body lotion, languidly beginning to 
spread the liquid onto her body as he watched her 
hands on her own body, her movement seeming 
like a caress. 

Knowing she would leave the bathroom any 
minute he retreated to his room, the image of her 
naked body burnt into his mind. He closed the 
door to his room silently but he could still hear 
the music from her room. She had switched from 
classic to something else and the sound of the 
music calmed him. Half asleep he heard the voice 
of Cher singing "Walking in Memphis" and the 
song followed him into his dreams.


He was holding Scully in his arms dancing to 
"Walking in Memphis". She smiled up at him and 
he gazed down at her face. God, she was 
beautiful. He could see love in her eyes and at 
that moment he wanted nothing more than to tell 
her he loved her, had done so for a long time… 

The moment changed and he was holding her 
again, in a hospital hallway. She was wearing a 
white robe and her face was stained with tears. 
She hugged him tightly and he whispered words 
of comfort.

"I think the truth will set us free, Scully!" 

He lifted her face and planted a soft kiss on her 
forehead… 

Then he was sitting next to her in front of an 
empty hospital bed, trying his best to comfort 
her. Her sister was dead, she had been shot in 
her place…

Another place, a church this time, a tiny coffin at 
the altar, Scully staring down at the gold cross in 
her hand. She was mourning the death of her 
child, a child never supposed to have existed. A 
child created to serve a purpose. And through all 
that she had been strong, she had been brave; 
she had been at his side…

Mulder tossed and turned in his bed as the 
memories came back to him...



"NOOOO!" The piercing scream made Dana wake 
up in an instant. 'Mulder', she thought and got 
out of bed, and almost running down the hallway. 
She opened the door to his room to find him 
sitting up straight in bed, his eyes wide in terror. 
He was shaking his head. 

"No! No!" he mumbled. 

"Mulder?" She reached him and climbed up next to 
him, touching his shoulder. "Mulder!" 

His empty gaze fell upon her but he didn't 
recognize her. He was still caught in whatever 
nightmare had grabbed him. 

"Mulder, wake up!" She yelled at him and his 
finally focused on her.

"Scully?" His whole body was shaking and she 
wrapped the covers around him, forcing him to lie 
down again. 

"Shh, Mulder, it's OK, you are safe... it was a 
nightmare!" 

"No, Scully, no it..." 

"Shh, I am here now!" 

"No, Scully, it wasn't a nightmare," He managed 
to say. 

Sweat formed on his forehead, yet he was cold as 
ice. He was in shock and Scully took him in her 
arms, rocking him back and forth, whispering to 
him. 

"It wasn't a nightmare, Scully, I remember, I 
remember what happened to me...." His body 
shook uncontrollably once again and he began to 
sob. "Samantha, she was there, Scully, they 
abducted me and I spoke to her, she told me not 
to be afraid, but then, the tests, they cut me 
open and I was watching, I..." He buried his face 
on her shoulder and she gently stroked his back, 
smoothing back his damp hair with one hand. 

"Shh..." she whispered and he looked up. "It will 
be alright, Mulder, I am here..." 

Tears streamed down his cheeks and she gently 
wiped them away. He was still shaking badly and 
she planted a soft kiss on his forehead, his grip 
around her waist tightening as she kissed his 
eyes, his cheeks and finally his mouth. It was a 
soft, sweet kiss, meant to comfort more than 
anything else. Her lips were cool on his own and 
his heart slowed down at the soft touch on the 
corners of his mouth. He drew her to him, her 
small body pressing against his own. 

When she pulled away he whispered coarsely. 
"Please, don't  go, Scully, hold me just a little 
longer!" 

She slipped under the covers, and he embraced 
her again, her head resting on his chest, one 
hand in his hair. And his head stopped spinning.


*********************************


Dana Scully's residence
24th December, 9:30 am

The night had brought at least two feet of snow. 
The sky was leaden, promising even more to 
come. Scully woke in Mulder's arms. For a moment 
she was confused but then she remembered. 

Mulder's nightmare. His terror. 

She looked down at his sleeping form and 
disengaged herself gently from his embrace. He 
looked peaceful now, his face relaxed, the lines 
around his eyes smoothed, his dark hair tangled. 
There was a softness about him that made her 
want to cry. 

Sighing she got up. 'This will never work', she 
thought, 'it hasn't worked before!' She touched 
his cheek briefly before leaving the room.


After a shower she dressed in comfortable jeans 
and a sweater and went downstairs to put on 
some coffee. Mulder's ramblings had deeply 
disturbed her, they sounded awfully familiar. Just 
like the memories she had from her abduction. 
She had accepted long ago that she had been 
abducted. By someone and she remembered the 
pain, the anger and most of all the fear. She was 
also confused about her renewed feelings for him. 
She had promised herself when she told the 
firemen to bring him to her house that she would 
be doing this out of friendship and duty as a 
doctor. His distress the previous night had deeply 
touched her and she could still feel the softness 
of his lips under hers. 

"Hey!" His voice made her spin around. 

"Hey, how are you feeling?" 

"Like I have been run over by a truck!" 

She smiled. "You had a rough night!" 

He sat down and took the coffee she handed him. 
"I remember Scully, at least most of it..." And 
then he told her of his abduction, of the tests and 
the pain and the fear and her heart was beating 
rapidly. 

When he had ended she touched his shoulder 
slightly and said "It is over now, Mulder, you have 
to learn to live with it..." 

"I know, I know, and I also remember that you 
went through the same thing... I should have 
been there for you. All those years you were so 
strong, through all the pain and the sorrow you 
were strong and I always took you for granted, I 
even used your loyalty for my own purposes..." 

"I never felt that way, Mulder, I never asked you 
to be there it was something I needed to deal 
with myself..." she said gently and turned to the 
door. "I need to check my messages and get the 
phone, with all the snow there won't be a lot of 
people outside today... but still!" 

"Scully!" 

She turned at the door. 

"About last night...thank you! Thank you for being 
there!" 

He stepped towards her and pulled her into a 
tight embrace. His mouth found hers and he 
kissed her just as gently as she had kissed him 
the night before. This time his kiss grew bolder 
though and she answered hungrily. When she 
pulled away she was breathing heavily. 

"I need to go....!"


When she came back a couple of hours later, she 
found Mulder in front of the fire. 

"Well, no one seems to be needing my services, 
so what do you think, I make us some tea 
and...." 

"Scully, have we ever been lovers?" 

The question caught her by surprise. "We, ... 
well..." 

"Have we?" 

She removed her jacket and sat down next to 
him, weighing her next words. Should she tell him 
the truth? Maybe half of it was better. 

She sighed and started to speak. "There was a 
time when I thought we could become lovers. We 
started spending a lot of time together outside 
the office and one evening... we were having 
Chinese at your place and watching an old movie, 
we had a good time, we had some wine, we were 
relaxed and one thing led to the other. Soon we 
were kissing, touching..." She looked down at her 
hands uncomfortably.

"What happened?" 

"Nothing happened, you stopped and told me that 
you wouldn't jeopardize our friendship by 
involving sex. I agreed, end of story..." 

"Did you feel you'd had made a mistake? By 
agreeing I mean?" 

"Yeah, I did, I was ready to move our relationship 
to the next level... but I accepted your decision... 
we were to be friends...no more... no less!" 

She got up to fix the tea and when she came back 
with two steaming mugs she saw that he hadn't 
moved. She handed him his tea and sat back 
down beside him. 

"Did you ever regret it, Scully?" 

She raised one eyebrow questioningly. "What?" 

"That we never became lovers..." 

She closed her eyes briefly. She didn't want to 
talk about this, not now, not with all these 
disturbing feelings she just re-discovered for him. 

"Did you?" 

"Sometimes... yes, I did, sometimes I did. What 
about you?" 

He was surprised at her frankness. The years had 
really changed her, he thought. Maybe it was time 
for him to open up. 

"I still do!" 

She looked down at her hands again, stirring her 
tea thoughtfully. Mulder reached out and lifted 
her chin. 

"I remember what I used to feel for you Scully, 
you were my one in a five billion and you still 
are..." 

She smiled at the expression, but turned away. 

"Mulder, I don't think this is a good idea..." 

His face came closer. "Why not?" 

She moved back just a little more, the look of his 
hazel eyes made her feel faint. She'd always 
loved those eyes... 

"Because, we..."

The shrill ringing of the phone interrupted her. 
'Just in time', she thought and picked up. "Hello... 
oh hey, no I have not forgotten, but have you 
looked outside? Alright, Becky, alright... I will be 
there... yes, of course I will bring him... bye!" 

Mulder gave her a puzzled look.

"A Christmas-Party, Mulder, we are invited..." 

His gaze turned from puzzled to questioning. "Oh, 
I don't know, Scully, maybe you should go by 
yourself ... I would just intrude..." 

She sat down next do him and placed her hands 
on his.

"You would not... come on, Mulder, I don't feel 
good if you sit here all by yourself, moping about 
the past..." 

Her voice sounded a little too cheerful and Mulder 
looked down at their entwined hands, noticing for 
the first time the small platinum wedding bands 
she was wearing, one on the ring finger of her 
hand the other, much bigger one on her thumb. 

Skinner's wedding band. 

Mulder's heart sank and to his surprise a cold 
anger gripped him. He had been wondering why 
she seemed to be avoiding him, and now he 
knew. 

It was still Skinner. The old jealousy came back 
to him and suddenly he clearly remembered when 
he had found out about their affair. 

It had been during that case, she had mentioned 
earlier, when Skinner had called them back to 
Washington, ordering them to stop the "ridiculous 
investigation" in Nevada. Scully had agreed with 
Skinner, telling Mulder that they had spent days 
on the case and the woman's story had been 
more than thin. 

Mulder had suspected something was going on 
between the AD and his partner for a while and 
he had lashed out at her and like an angry child 
had accused her of just agreeing with Skinner 
because she didn't want to get in trouble with the 
new man in her life. 

Her voice had grown cold and her blue eyes had 
sparkled in cold fire, when she told him that 
unlike him, she could separate her private life 
from her work and what she did and did not do 
with the AD was none of his business. They had 
flown back to Washington that night, not 
speaking to each other. Shortly afterwards he had 
been abducted. 

He still felt her betrayal like a thorn in his side.

"Mulder?" She was taken aback by the sudden 
coldness in his eyes when he looked at her again.

The he smiled at her but his smile was so fake 
that a cold shiver ran down her spine. "OK, Scully, 
I'll come with you..."

"Great, I'll go upstairs to change...." 

Mulder watched her as she went up the stairs. 
'Oh, no, Dana Scully,' he thought, 'You will talk to 
me....'


After a quick shower, Dana stepped in front the 
large mirror in the bathroom and scanned her 
face. Cool, blue eyes looked back at her, a 
sensual mouth, a pretty face framed by red hair. 

She was still the same as yesterday. At least on 
the outside. Her soul was an entirely different 
story. 

For over a year it had only been her out here in 
the majestic loneliness of Maine. Only herself and 
her grief for the men she had lost. 

For Walter. For the time they had had and the 
times they would never have. 

She had buried the grief for Mulder deep inside 
her. 

In the beginning, when she and Skinner had 
started seeing each other, Scully had felt she was 
betraying Mulder. She had told herself that there 
was nothing between them but friendship, that he 
had made that perfectly clear to her that that was 
all he wanted from her. 

She had convinced herself that she had a right to 
love, to sex, to enjoying herself. But the odd 
feeling had stayed. 

At the same time she had felt she was betraying 
Walter because of her feelings for Fox Mulder. 
Knowing she could never love him as she still 
loved Mulder and she had hated herself for that, 
for Walter Skinner had loved her unconditionally. 
And he had understood the connection between 
her and her partner. 

It still hurt her to think Skinner had died with the 
knowledge that he hadn't been the only man in 
her life. 

How can you love two men? She had asked 
herself disgustedly. 

When Skinner died she had focused all her grief 
on him, she had clung to his picture and to their 
short life together with her whole being. 

It seemed the proper thing to do.

Everyone here saw her as the hardworking Doctor, 
ex-FBI Agent and grieving widow. 

Mulder was back now. 

And even though she had fought it, her feelings 
for him had come back with a vengeance. With 
every passing day she fell more in love with Fox 
Mulder. She had noticed his reaction to her still 
wearing both wedding bands. 'No,' she told 
herself firmly, 'you won't make the same mistake 
again!' 

She wouldn't let Mulder think she was still too 
bound to a dead man to love him.

*****************************************
****************

Rebecca and John Cochran's residence
Christmas Eve, 9:30 p.m.

Everybody seemed to know and like Dana and 
after yet another question about who he was and 
how he knew 'Dr. Scully', he excused himself and 
went into the kitchen. 

He passed Scully who was talking to the same 
man he had seen her dancing with on Halloween 
and tried to ignore her as best as her could. 

On the way over to the Cochran's the air between 
them had been charged with unspoken words. 

Scully had tried to make conversation but Mulder 
had just answered evasively with yes or no, after 
he had seen her coming downstairs wearing the 
same oversized leather coat she had worn the 
day before. 

Skinner's obviously. 

What pissed him off even more, was that she 
looked radiant in her long, emerald green skirt, 
matching shirt and button down sweater and soft 
leather boots. Her hair was combed back from her 
forehead and she wore little pearl earrings and 
the cross around her neck. 

Rebecca had hugged Scully and welcomed Mulder 
warmly, introducing him as "Dana's friend from 
Washington". 

Dinner had been delicious and now people were 
chatting amiably in the living room, others still 
sitting at the dinner table. 

In the kitchen, Mulder poured himself another 
glass of red wine and stared out the window into 
the cold night. It had stopped snowing and the 
icy cold made the snow sparkle in the moonlight. 
From afar he could hear the waves crashing to the 
shore. 

"Mulder? Don't tell me you are here to offer your 
help with the dishes...." 

He spun around to seen Rebecca standing in the 
doorway, carrying a stack of dirty dishes. 

"Sure". He grinned and took the plates from her, 
placing them in the sink. 

For a few minutes they stacked the dirty dished 
into the dish washer, Mulder complementing 
Rebecca on the excellent dinner.

"Cut the crap, will you Mulder, what's wrong?" She 
said suddenly and looked at him, her hands 
placed on her hips. 

"Nothing."

"Oh, come on, you didn't come here to do the 
dirty dishes did you, why aren't you in the living 
room enjoying yourself with Dana?" 

The answer came out sharper than he had 
intended it to. "She seems to be enjoying herself 
quite well without me..." 

"Oh, that's it, is it?" Rebecca laughed. "Don't 
worry about Thomas King, Mulder, she was never 
really impressed by him, in fact she's never 
impressed with any man, since... never mind!" 
She turned away. 

"Since when, Rebecca, since Walter Skinner? Did 
you know him?" 

"Mulder, you should really speak to Dana about 
this, she...."

"NO, she won't talk to me... and I need to know!" 
His brows were drawn together and his whole 
body seemed under pressure. 

Rebecca gave him a scrutinizing look and sighed, 
when he relaxed and his wild gaze turned into a 
sad one. 

"Please, Rebecca, I... I just need to know!" 

"Why, Mulder, what difference does it make?"

"Because I love her..." There it was out. 

For the very first time he had admitted out loud 
that he loved his partner, well, ex-partner.

Rebecca sighed. "Yes, I knew him, he owned a 
cottage up here. Dana came here with him for the 
first time. I had known him for a few years, had 
known his first wife, but they had only been here 
very infrequently and he only stayed for a few 
days. Always on the go, always under pressure to 
get back to Washington. Not when he came back 
with Dana. He was a changed man with her. Dana 
and I became friends very quickly. She seemed 
very  happy but sometimes she would get this 
sad look in her eyes. She and Walter were very 
much in love. They never seemed to be without 
the other, always laughing, always a light touch 
or a smile, even when they were at opposite 
sides of the room. They seemed so at ease with 
each other..." 

Her words hurt him, but he forced himself to 
listen to her. 

"When he died, she was devastated... that's 
when she came back here and bought the 
practice... she spent most of her time alone in 
the beginning..." Rebecca took a sip of her wine 
and poured some more for Mulder. "Once I found 
her on the cliffs, staring out at the sea, she was 
crying and I asked her what she was doing out 
there..." 

"What did she say?" 

"She said she was seeking solace. From the pain 
of losing two men she had loved..." Mulder 
swallowed. "And she told me about her partner, 
the man she had known for six ears and loved 
from the beginning, but who had been so deeply 
involved in his own quest for the truth that he 
never seemed to have had the time to notice, 
who had taken her presence, her support and her 
being there whenever he needed her for granted." 
Rebecca finished and looked at him intensely. 

Mulder shook his head slowly. "It's too late now, 
Rebecca, is it?" 

She shrugged. "I don't know, Mulder, talk to 
Dana, make her trust you again... I need to go 
see my guests now!" 

She left Mulder to brood in the darkened kitchen.

*******************

The first thing Scully noticed when she saw 
Mulder exiting the kitchen was the way he 
searched the crowd in the living room for her. The 
anger and frustration she had noticed earlier were 
gone. People had started dancing and he had to 
pass the couples to get to her. She smiled and 
raised her glass. 

"Mulder? What have you been up to?" 

Then he was next to her, clinking his glass to 
hers. "I have had a chat with your friend Rebecca, 
she is a very wise woman..." 

Scully raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "What did 
she tell you?" 

"Let's just say she opened my eyes." 

Scully nodded and looked at the dancing couples. 
Mulder followed her gaze. He set down his wine 
glass and took hers from her hands. "Care to 
dance, Scully?" 

Stunned she nodded and he led her to the 
makeshift dance floor. The stereo was blaring 
Latin rhythms and after a few hesitant steps 
Mulder placed his hands on her hips and guided 
her to the music. Scully wrapped one arm around 
his neck, her body pressed to his as they move to 
the ever accelerating drum of the music. Mulder's 
hand wrapped around her waist and her bent her 
backwards only to draw her close again. She 
noticed the wild sparkle in his now almost green 
eyes and laughed, letting the beat get to her. 
They moved as if in a trance and only stopped 
when the song finished, dazed. Some of the other 
couples applauded and Scully smiled self-
consciously, running her hands through her damp 
hair. 

"I need something to drink now, Mulder, and 
fast!" 

He nodded and after a moment he handed her a 
glass of white whine. She laughed that this 
wasn't what she had had in mind but he just 
shook his head. 

"That's all you are going to get."

*******************

They were still talking and laughing when they 
got back to her house, where Charles greeted 
them enthusiastically. The fire in the living room 
had almost gone out and Scully put on another 
couple of logs, before she shed her jacket. 
Mulder's eyes followed her as she took off her 
boots and gave Charles a late night snack. 

"Do you want some more wine, Mulder?" She 
asked from the kitchen.

"Sure!" 

He switched on the lights of the Christmas tree, 
bathing the room in soft light, then the stereo. 
When she came back, carrying two wine glasses 
he was browsing through the CD's. She handed 
him a glass and sat down on the couch, watching 
as he pulled out one CD after the other studying 
the titles. A lock of dark hair fell onto his brow 
and he looked incredibly handsome in his black 
jeans and v-neck sweater. Her gaze fell on his 
hands. She had always liked Mulder's hands, the 
long fingers, which promised strength and 
tenderness. He had obviously found what he had 
been looking for and soon Cher's voice filled the 
room. "Walking in Memphis" until tonight the only 
song she had ever danced to with Mulder. He sat 
down his glass and reached out for her. 

"One more dance, Scully!" He said softly as he 
took her wine-glass from her.

She placed her small hand in his and he drew her 
into his arms. Just like years before, they moved 
effortlessly to the music and his eyes never left 
her face. There was such a tenderness in them, 
that it made her heart skip a beat. He drew her 
even closer and she could feel his warm body 
pressed against hers as they swayed to the 
music.

'God, how I still love him.' The thought went 
through her mind unbidden and her gaze fell to 
her own hand with the wedding bands on her 
fingers. 

A curious mixture of desire and guilt washed over 
her and she closed her eyes briefly only to look 
into Mulder's now almost green eyes. His hand 
went around her neck and he bent down to kiss 
her tenderly. She could smell the wine in his 
breath as he lifted her chin and pressed his lips 
to hers. They felt soft and warm under hers and 
she closed her eyes once again, giving in to the 
sensation. 

Her hands rose to his face, pulling him even 
closer to her. It was so good to taste him, to 
soak in the taste of the wine he'd had and his 
own. Their tongues touched for the first time and 
she felt a raw wave of arousal that flooded 
through her body. She hadn't kissed anyone 
except Skinner like this in years and for a moment 
it felt so strange to have Mulder's tongue twining 
with hers. It was this perfect, bittersweet kiss 
and it made her tremble with need. When they 
parted he was equally out of breath than she 
was. He took her hand and placed it on his heart, 
and she felt its steady rhythm, so in sync with 
hers. 

Without another word she took one of the candle 
holders and turned to the stairs, never letting go 
of his hand as she led him upstairs to her 
bedroom. She placed the candle holder on the 
vanity and lit more candles until the room was 
bathed in the soft light of dozens of candles. 
Mulder still stood in the doorway, watching her 
every move. 

"Scully, you don't need... we don't...." He 
whispered softly. 

She smiled at him, then turned to him and soon 
he heard the water running in the bath and saw 
her moving around lighting even more candles. 
Just like a few nights ago, he saw her moving in 
the mirror of the bathroom. Then she appeared in 
the door, clad only in a silk robe. 

"Care to join me?" 

He nodded slowly, hypnotized and followed her 
into the bathroom where she shed the robe and 
stepped into the scented water. His gaze fell on 
her back, the small firm buttocks and slender legs 
and he closed his eyes. It felt natural to get 
undressed in front of her and soon he was sitting 
opposite her in the steaming water of the oval 
bathtub. 

He had never really cared about taking baths but 
this.. this was different. The hot scented water 
seemed to embrace him. His gaze fell on Scully. 
Her damp hair curled around her face and her 
eyes seemed to mirror the flickering light of the 
candles. He reached out and drew her close once 
again, feeling her breasts against his chest, her 
legs wrap around his waist. He caressed her 
cheek with his fingers, tracing the lines of her 
lips, her nose and her eyes. Their mouths found 
each other again and this time their kiss seemed 
to grow even more intense. Scully gasped as she 
felt his erection pressing against her belly, his 
hands wandering down her back, caressing her 
buttocks. 

His mouth left hers and he placed small kisses on 
her ears and neck, lighting a fiery trail down to 
her breasts. He circled first one then the other 
nipple with his lips and she threw her head back, 
her own hands finding their way down his smooth, 
golden brown chest. The muscles in his stomach 
rippled involuntarily as she touched him softly. 
Her fingers softly stroked him and with pleasure 
she heard him suck in his breath sharply as she 
wrapped her hand around him harder. Her body 
ached for his touch, she wanted to feel him deep 
insider her, as she slowly rotated her hips to his 
erection. He groaned and lifted her up, letting her 
slide over him. His hands went around her waist 
as she slid in and out of him ever so slowly. 

His breathing became more labored with every 
stroke and she felt a sensation building up deep 
inside her. Her own arms went around his neck as 
she moved closer to him and he took a nipple in 
his mouth, flicking his tongue against the 
hardened flesh and finally taking it into his 
mouth. She felt him deep inside her but she still 
took him inside deeper, she wanted to be one 
with him, one body, one soul. He whispered her 
name, whispered nonsense into her ears as they 
moved even faster, bringing each other to the 
edge only to slow down again to prolong their 
pleasure. 

Scully could feel her climax building deep inside 
her and gasped as Mulder's grasp on her hips 
hardened pushing her down on him faster and 
harder. A burst of light went through her as her 
climax finally washed over her and she moaned 
his name. 

His eyes lost focus as he cried her name and 
emptied himself inside her with a shudder. They 
held each other tightly and the only sound in the 
room was their heavy breathing. Scully slowly 
lifted herself from him and he sighed as he slid 
out of her, stepping out of the bathtub behind her 
and letting her wrap him into a huge white towel. 
He grabbed another towel and took it to dry her 
off, tickling her until she laughed and did the 
same to him. She took his hand and led him into 
her bedroom, where they fell to the bed in a 
tangle of arms and legs. He slid under the covers, 
pulling her with him until her face rested on his 
chest and his arms lightly caressed her back. He 
placed a soft kiss on her forehead. 

"I love you Scully!" 

She looked up at him and her hand moved to 
touch his cheek. "I love you too."

****************************

Mulder woke in the early morning light and turned 
to look directly into Scully's blue eyes. "Hey!" 

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked when he saw the 
expression on her face. 

"Nothing, I was just thinking..." 

Mulder pulled himself up on one elbow. "About 
him?" 

Her face colored and she averted her eyes. 
"Yes..." Her voice was barely a whisper. 

"Why him, Scully, why can't you forget him." 
There was no hurt or accusation in his voice, just 
curiosity.

"He never took me for granted... he loved me 
unconditionally, he had no reason to feel guilty 
for the things that had happened to me..." 

Mulder swallowed. "You've got to let go, Scully, 
he is..."

"Dead, I know Mulder, I know..." 

He pulled her to him again. 

She wanted to tell him that it didn't make any 
difference for what she felt for him, but he 
startled her by saying: "Scully, I have just gotten 
you back and I don't want  to lose you once 
more..." 

She kissed him softly. "I know Mulder, I know!" 
She wrapped her arms around him and after a 
while they fell asleep in each others' arms.


When Mulder woke again, she was gone. He 
looked around the room and noticed that the two 
photographs of her and Skinner were no longer on 
the night table and the mantle. He got up and 
went into his room to pull on jeans and a sweat 
shirt. The house smelled of freshly brewed coffee, 
but Scully was nowhere to be seen. Mulder went 
from room to room, until he saw a lone figure 
standing on the cliffs outside. What was she 
doing? He put on shoes and grabbed his jacket. 
The morning was crisp and cold, the blue sky 
turning the snow covered cliffs into a sparkling 
winter wonderland. The wind was blowing in 
Scully's hair and she didn't turn when he wrapped 
his arms around her from behind. Her hand was 
balled to a fist and when he asked her what she 
was doing here she opened it to reveal the two 
wedding bands. 

"I am saying good-bye!" She said and hurled the 
rings out on the water, staring after them. 

When she turned to him he could see the tears in 
the corners of her eyes. She leaned against him, 
burying her face in his chest. He stroked her hair 
gently, letting her cry. When she relaxed in his 
arms, he said "Come on, Scully, let's go inside, 
it's freezing cold and it's Christmas morning, we 
should be in front of the tree... Lord, I don't even 
have a gift for you!" 

She smiled up at him. "That doesn't matter, 
Mulder, we have each other and that's enough."

THE END



Author's note:
I know that some of you are totally put off by the 
thought of Walter Skinner and Dana Scully 
together, but in my opinion there is something 
between them. I am a shipper, don't get me 
wrong, but I do think there is a special bond 
between Skinner and Scully, that makes them 
special to each other. That's my personal opinion. 
Also I think that Walter Skinner is a very 
interesting character with his very own good 
looks. Unconventional, but handsome. 
That just as an explanation for all those who are 
going to flame me for even mentioning a 
Scully/Skinner relationship.